Don't be so hard on yourself - you're new at this

Having a baby is thrilling, but it can also be challenging for first-timers. These tips from author Anita Naik will make life with a newborn easier.

1 Don't try to be Wonder Woman

Seeking perfection, either from your parenting skills or your newborn, is a recipe for tears. Keep reminding yourself that your baby doesn』t need you to be perfect or to get everything done – she just needs you.

2 Accept a bit of chaos

Mums who are super-organised in their pre-baby lives often suffer the most from chaos-induced stress. If you like everything perfectly organised and on time in your life, it can be hard to accept that babies have their own schedules. The key is to stop trying to live your old life, but also to find a way to bring a part of it into your new one. If you feel happier with a schedule, start slowly by introducing a bath, book and bed routine. If you like things tidy, have a clear up twice a day (and not twice an hour).

3 Have a daily plan

Instead of a plan that has you on a stressful schedule, adopt one that ensures you go out to the park or shops at least once a day after the initial few weeks. A plan structures your time, and stops a long day from feeling endless.

4 Do other things while your baby is awake

It’s easy to think you have to be doing all things baby when yours is awake. But, as any second-time mum will tell you, she will be happy whether you』re sorting washing, cooking or lying on the sofa, just as long as she’s near you.

5 Keep telling yourself that it’s just a phase...

If you』re going through a bad patch where your newborn screams all the time, won』t settle down to sleep or just refuses to have her nappy changed, rest assured it’s just a phase. Any new mum will tell you that, with babies, everything passes – and often much sooner than you think.

6 Take all the shortcuts you need

If being the opposite of a domestic goddess (sorry, Nigella) makes your life easier as a new mother – think eating takeaway dinners and supermarket frozen meals or using paper plates and disposable cutlery – then it’s the right decision.

7 Beware of tiger mums

Competitive parenting is on the rise, which means you』re guaranteed to encounter the odd mother hothousing her bump with Mozart and the theory of relativity. Ignore her, don』t befriend her and refuse to be drawn into a competition that will last into toddlerhood and beyond.

8 Don』t rush to sign up for baby lessons

Don』t believe the hype that says your baby absolutely needs singing, swimming or signing lessons from the word go. What she really needs is close contact with you, and what you need is some time alone to get to know each other.

9 Accept that being at home can be hard

When you』re struggling with a new baby, the whole world seems to be out having a good time. Being at home with bub instead of going out to work is a huge adjustment, so give yourself time to get used to it. If you don』t have family living nearby, ask friends for help.

10 Read up on child development

Familiarising yourself with important milestones is a good idea, not to work out if your child is a genius, but simply so you can relax in the knowledge that all babies progress at different times.

11 Believe in yourself

Motherhood can seem overwhelming, so if you hit a low point or feel insecure, remind yourself you』re well equipped to deal with it. Write a list of what you』re good at, then stick it to your fridge or mirror to refer to when things get tough.

12 Don』t assume you should know it all

Worried about a rash, a strange noise or even what your baby is or isn』t doing? Don』t suffer in silence. Instead, see your GP or ask a mum friend for advice.

13 Help her sleep

Ensure your little one gets used to sleeping with background noise and in rooms that aren』t totally dark.

14 Shop online

Whether you』re looking for new clothes, nappies or baby toiletries, the internet is a great time-saver. And, while you』re at it, utilise money-saving sites such aswww.babybestbargains.com.au and www.bestbuys4baby.com.au, which help you save money as you spend.

15 Follow your gut

You know your baby better than anyone else because you are with her more than anyone else. So, if you have a niggling worry about her development, a sniffle or something else entirely, always seek a second opinion. A good GP will acknowledge that mum knows best.

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